Why?

I don't really need to think hard when I watch directors to know why it is my dream. But sometimes I just feel it's something so big...
I feel like my small feet aren't able to step such huge steps anymore...
My body gets all numb and I start to shake each time I see famous actors on meeting with fans, or good directors.
I'm not the type of fan to scream, and also not to ask autograph... I'm not really a fan of anything at all...
But I want to stand there... I want to stand on the other side and want to hear people telling me how happy they are...
I want to be a person who can make other people famous and loved. I want also to make people understand good material and ideas... good acting...

I'm so happy to sit here right now and know that someday in the future I'll be like this... but yeah, I'm kinda sad those days...
yet I have a lot of inspiration... maybe I should write.